You Have No Idea
"What you do matters. You have no idea your impact on me or our church..."
I'm hearing that consistently these days. And I still internally respond, "Thank you, Jesus, because I'm sometimes uncertain if I am making much of a difference
in individuals and churches for your Kingdom." In other words, I still wrestle with a certain level of insecurity! I don't doubt for an instant the call to do what we did (resign from the church and sell everything) so we can do what He has called us to. The struggle is against a voice inside that says "Who do you think you are and what do you have to offer?" After all, we live on the support of others who said yes to God in joining us on His mission through finances and prayer. This is not a "flashy" or "big" ministry endeavor.
The truth is, it really centers on the first question: who do you think you are...? That answer is important. I've grown up in Christianity and "not thinking of yourself too highly (Romans 12:3)" so I don't have arrogance or pride has been drilled into my consciousness. My problem is not thinking to much of myself but maybe undervaluing who I am in His kingdom and as His child. And I don't think I'm the only one who struggles with this from time to time. Paul goes on to say to take an honest evaluation based on the measure (metron) of faith God has given. The very fact God has given each of us something determines our value and worth to him and to everyone else. What I have matters to the whole! And so does yours!
So, I'm learning to see myself as vital to the greater whole of the body. I need what is deposited in you and you need what's deposited in me. It's His design. Our enemy benefits greatly when insecurity and fear either paralyze or limit our involvement with the whole. I, we all, matter to each other. No one is insignificant. This is a part of how we love each other.